Okay, just a warning. I’m odd. But, I act very normal on the outside, so don’t worry if you see me in person. You’ll never know. So some stuff, like what happened today, I think is hilarious.
My twin daughters, one is like a Sparkling Diamond and one is like….a chunk of coal. We had to go to a birthday party. And when I say had to go I mean had to go. The birthday girl’s dad works for my husband. I couldn’t get around it. Its expected that I go. Why may you ask? Well, in my ‘bubble’ and I mean only in my ‘bubble’ I’m the Queen. The Dark Diamond. The dreaded owner’s wife. Yeah, I know I don’t let it go to my head believe me, but that’s how it is in my ‘bubble’. I’m not a snob. I’m not somebody that talks about money. But, people don’t care. They see what they want.
So, there we are at the skating rink. The owner wife. At a birthday party. I can already hear the rumors fly come Monday. Why? Like any woman one of you has someone you know that is a rumor starter. A person that to your face is very nice, but talks about you behind your back. A person that wants the stuff you have and feels that even though your husband works his butt off, feels you don’t deserve it. Someone that asks how much you paid for…your car, your house, your decor, your freakin‘ jeans. That someone is the birthday girl’s mom.
I don’t mind. Not anymore. I’m numb to it, which is why I find today funny.
So, there I am. I can see the questions swirling behind the Witch’s eyes because just this Monday we had to fire our Secretary and she’s already jealous because my best friend is our other secretary. She can’t understand this. She considers our secretary below her and her station. She absolutely has no clue why I like her. A redneck girl that has been through just as bad childhood stuff that I’ve been through.
Ohhh, juicy gossip. Maybe another day. Anyway, she can’t resist asking about our recent firing, but then I notice her eyes looking down at my necklace.
Did I mention she recently turned from normal church goer to fanatic church goer? So, when she saw my necklace I smiled inside. As she was bragging how great the new mall was and did I buy the latest fad “skinny jeans” she stops and says, “Oh, how pretty. Is it an angel?”
I calmly said, deadpan, “No. Its a bat. And it matches the tattoo on my back.”
Oh, yes the rumors will fly come Monday, but I couldn’t help it. Honestly.