Most of us have something that sets us off, a trigger that brings the full-on cray-cray. Most writers I know talk about that moment of panic hitting them right after they hit ‘send’ on a submission. My first submission had me a bit anxious. By a bit, I mean I was sick to my stomach all day. But that passed and I was pretty laid back after that.
My first rejection didn’t faze me, either. I just repackaged the story and sent it somewhere else. Rejection is part of the business and I’m prepared for that. I admit to one R that set me back, but only because it made me question my writing ability. It took me a while to step back and separate one story that wasn’t up to par from my ability in general. But even that didn’t send me on a bout of carpet-swimming.
Bad reviews don’t bother me much. Sure, I’d love it if everyone who touched my books thought they were the most bestest thing evah. Realistically, people have different tastes and I’m not for everyone. It happens. When I get a bad review, I try to see the book through the eyes of the reader and assess if they saw things that could I could improve in my next book.
I have some friends that get wound up when it’s good news. A request or offer can send them into a frenzy that has less to do with excitement than it does all-out panic.
So… what does get me in a panic?
There is this huge build up to release day, there is noise, promo, organizing. All this preparation leads up to… dead silence. I want reviews. Ratings. Proof people read the book. Proof they even noticed the book. But for the first couple of weeks after release, it’s usually dead quiet. I’m left with this sinking feeling that all my work was for nothing. This book is going to flop. I shouldn’t have quit my day job, because now how will I feed the children.
Yes, it’s an overreaction, and logically, I know this. It still makes me crazy. Every. Single. Time.
So, this is me, crazy writer, sitting in a corner and wailing. Bring in the sackcloth and ashes.
Everyone has their moment of crazy. What’s yours?