It’s the time of year when the Christmas carols start playing in a continuous loop. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before I’m whistling Santa Baby and queuing up Snoopy’s Christmas on the playlist, but for now the only thing I can think about is the fact that I’ve got a story nearly 12 weeks on submission. And this, my friends, is how 12 Weeks on Submission goes for me:
Week 1 – “I pressed send. Oh Lord, I pressed send. What was I thinking? Did I attach the synopsis? I attached the synopsis, right?”
Week 2 – Refresh. Refresh. Refresh
Week 3 – “Man that synopsis sucked. It’s not even funny. The book is funny. Do you think they can tell the book is funny?”
Week 4 – “One month and no big fat R in my inbox. Maybe the synopsis wasn’t so bad after all.”
Week 5 – “They must have liked it. They wouldn’t be looking at it so long if they didn’t like it.”
Week 6 – Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
Week 8 – “Is this refresh button working?”
Week 9 – “No news is good news, right? Right?”
Week 10 – “That’s it, I’m contacting tech support. This email account isn’t working. Is the internet broken? Clearly, the internet must be broken!”
Week 11 – “I should nudge. Should I nudge? Next week is twelve weeks. That’s a reasonable time to nudge. If I still haven’t heard anything next week, I’ll just give them a teensy tiny nudge.”
Week 12 – “What if they’re on the fence and I nudge and they say no because I’m too pushy? But what if they lost it? Maybe they lost it. Maybe I’ve lost it.”
Dear Editor/Publisher/Agent/Unpaid Intern manning the email account,
Excuse me. I’m sorry for the interruption. I don’t mean to bother you, but if it wouldn’t be too much trouble….